Comparing ourselves is typically a toxic habit, but we can easily put a spin on it to actually use comparison to benefit us.
Most of the time comparison leads to jealousy, guilt, self-doubt, and a jumble of gut-wrenching feelings. If we simply change the way we think when we compare, we can actually benefit and learn from comparison.
NEGATIVE CYCLE
Event: You are playing with or watching a player who is better than you.
Thought: I suck. I will never be as good as them. They must hate playing with me.
Feeling: Unmotivated. Sad. Embarrassed.
Behavior: You are scared or unmotivated to play. You will likely play worse.
Affect: You will hold yourself back from getting better. You might even completely stop playing.
vs.
POSITIVE CYCLE
Event: You are playing with or watching a player who is better than you.
Thought: I want to play with them/watch them so that I can get better. I am going to work harder to be a better player.
Feeling: Empowered. Motivated. Inspired.
Behavior: Motivated to work harder. Inspired to play more. Ask them for advice or help to improve.
Affect: You become a better player. You develop a positive growth mindset.
This technique of altering the way we compare can be used in every form of comparison that we make. By productively comparing, we can more ably achieve our goals, improve a product or business, develop better habits, and just feel happier as we are changing a gateway for toxicity into a gateway for personal growth.
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